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Random Short Stories

It's been about 2 months since my friend purchased the toilet assistance stool; no, not to get up onto to the toilet, but instead to make sure that the food you ate a few hours ago had absolutely no chance of surviving inside your digestive track. What can I say? The process of excretion can only be compared to a real life exorcism where it feels, pleasantly if I may add, that the devil himself is trying to burst out of your gut. Needless to say, the stool changed my life. I found myself creating excuses to run to my magical place and discharge whatever little portion of food was left inside me; I was hooked. Soon people started wondering why I've become so distant; the stool had taken over my life. It would have taken over your life too if you would have experienced the kind of pleasure that I was now enjoying; it was my high. Then it happened...on one faithful Saturday afternoon session I squeezed too hard, my thighs jerked and the stool was shattered from the immense force my thighs and colon created. I sat there, shaking, crying, in complete disbelief. What will I do now? I ran outside, forgetting to wipe, to get my phone, to place the order for the new one. It was Saturday night and even with overnight shipping it wouldn't arrive until Monday. Panic started engulfing me. I lay on the bathroom floor weeping at what I've done. I stood up and started breathing deeply; I decided to step out of the bathroom and resume breathing deeply for obvious reasons. I told myself that it's only a couple of days and that everything will be fine; was I wrong. For what seemed like the next 10 years, I crept to different corners of my house to curl up and not think about it. Part withdrawals, part extreme pain, I found myself thinking that I was not going to survive this. I contemplated ending it all. I became enraged: Why did he have to introduce me to this magical device?! It was his fault! My stomach felt like it was about to erupt even though I hadn't had one bite since the incident. Then...a knock on the door. It was here. I snatched it violently from the delivery driver and flew into the bathroom. I didn't even bother taking it out of the box. The toilet exploded but I didn't care. I was at peace again.
-- Dino Cajic

 The sweat, anticipation, uncertainty, fear and a general disbelief in the complexity of the subject seemed to overwhelmingly consume the air around me. Honestly, I spent most of the class swiping at the thick mist constituting of anger, sweat and BO...In hindsight, I must have seemed even more deranged than the rest of them.
-- Dino Cajic

 The professor was done speaking. I glanced at my watch and it read 10:45am. I took my time getting out of the class. I strolled casually to find my next class and after slowly ventured to the school cafeteria. After what seemed like an eternity of deciding which type of sushi I should get, I finally chose the California sampler. I payed for my food and Dasani water and sat at a nearby empty table. The cafeteria was immersed with my previous-semester classmates; I did my best not to make eye contact which would undeniably be followed by an awkward head nod or smile and God forbid maybe even a conversation about last semester's grades. I took out my phone and as I normally do, started reading the headline news on cnn.com: Obama this, Trump that. I finished my meal feeling strangely satisfied; after all it was only 8 small sushi rolls. I ventured outside and with a casual pace made my way towards the Library. I waiting ever so patiently for the elevator to come downstairs and I rode it to the 4th floor. On the 4th floor, I walked passed eagerly studying students, or were they panicking already? I noticed an empty table in the corner and sat there. I looked at my clock...10:46am. Cocaine's a hell of a drug.
-- Dino Cajic

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